Tell us your father’s ‘dad-isms’ and WIN a hamper!

by Charlotte.Barnes on June 9, 2010

Father's Day PresentIn the run-up to Father’s day we wanted to know about the things your dad has said or done that are funny, unique to him or just plain embarrassing.

We all know that our dads can come up with awful jokes or try to sound cool at exactly the wrong time – it’s part of being a dad.

Well, the votes have now been counted and I am please to announce that the winners are as follows….

First place – Julie Kenny

Julie wins an An Ultimate Indulgence Hamper
Ultimate Indulgence - £99.99

Second place – Ellie L

Ellie wins A Picnic Hamper
Picnic Hamper - £69.99

Third place – Ellsa

Ellsa wins An Ale & Cheese Gift Set
Ale & Cheese Gift Basket - £45.99

All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning one of our luxury hampers is post your dad’s ‘dad-ism’ as a comment on this blog. You have until Wednesday June 16th at 2:30pm to enter. After then our team of Interflora judges will pick the winners.

Terms & Conditions

All prizes are non-transferable and no cash alternative will be given. Only one entry per person will be entered. This competition is only open to UK residents and deliveries are to be made to a UK address. Delivery will be made within 2 weeks of the closing date. This competition is not open to Interflora employees.

If you like the prizes above and are looking for a special Father’s Day gift then why not visit Interflora’s Father’s day shop at Interflora.co.uk?


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Charlotte Barnes

Post category: Competitions, Occasions, Other Occasions, Story Competitions  

{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

Jessica 09 Jun 2010 at 11:16 am

When I was 12 my family and I stayed in a hotel in Devon. One night we walked into one of the function rooms by accident. Typically of my family, it wasn’t a quiet entrance.

I turned to my dad and said: “Shh, they’re playing bingo.” My dad responded loudly with: “Really? Housey housey!” I cringed and everyone turned around to look at us. As you can imagine the very keen bingo players didn’t find this very funny at all!

Dan 09 Jun 2010 at 11:34 am

My dad always tries to keep up to date with music, and prides himself on being able to pick out a good song, and then brags when it does, indeed get to number one. A few years back he asked me about a song which mentioned “wearing goggles”. I was at a total loss as to what song he was referring to, and he elaborated with “i wear goggles when you are not here”.

We eventually established he was referring to Macey Grey’s I Try – and the actual lyric was “my heart crumbles when you are not here”.

Needless to say, hes given up a little on the music front now, and focuses more on picking out good TV adverts instead. Thankfully, he has more luck with that one 🙂

Happy Fathers Day Dad!

Katie Russell 09 Jun 2010 at 11:35 am

My Dad is perfect really in every way,apart from when we eat at the table he sometimes makes a noise while eating his dinner,I say to him Dad dont make a noise while you are eating but to be fair he tries hard and I love him for the way he is as he is perfect and he takes me out in his car and runs friends home when I need him to.

Elizabeth Burton 09 Jun 2010 at 11:35 am

My father-in-law (I consider him my 2nd dad!) is terrible for believing everything he reads in the newspaper.

After reading a ‘shock health’ report about talcum powder, he decided to stop using it. When we asked him why, he told us it had recently been linked to cervical cancer. Quite how he though he might get succumb to this awful disease goodness only knows!

Amanda 09 Jun 2010 at 11:38 am

My dad will buy anythnig that in on offer such as buy one get one get one free. He often has his cupboards/fridge/freezer etc full of things he’ll never use but bought just because it was on offer.

Rachel Medhurst 09 Jun 2010 at 11:38 am

When I was a teenager my dad used to pick me up when I was out with my friends. I would go to reach for the door handle and he would pull the car forward slightly so I couldnt get the door….then I would try again and he’d do it again and again….I’d end up just standing there glaring at him through the back window while he laughed hysterically! My friends all found this hilarious!

Tony Cowards 09 Jun 2010 at 11:52 am

When I was staying over at my dad’s he left a post it note saying that he’d gone out but it also had the warning;

“Be careful as I’ve left a stanley knife somewhere in the house and can’t find it. Be careful when you sit down, see you later, love Dad”

And then right at the bottom, in brackets he’d written;

(Found it!)

🙂

Kate Pollard 09 Jun 2010 at 11:53 am

When I was younger, I was, apparently, a bit of a tearaway!! On a family shopping trip to BHS I took an interest in a display of lamps that was positioned on a display plinth in the lighting department. My mum grew increasingly concerned that I would knock them over, and signalled to my dad to hold my hand…. just incase.

At this point, as he went to grab my hand, my dad tripped over a clothes rack, dived past me and fell straight into the display of lamps, knocking them everywhere!!!

As he lay on the floor surrounded by lamps, my mum quickly picked me up and walked away 🙂 Needless to say, we avoided BHS for the rest of the day!!

lydia 09 Jun 2010 at 11:56 am

my dad visited recently and found a coffee shop he liked, he ended up going 4 times in one day, with different daughters and grandkids, me and my son were the last ones, and the waitress was looking amused- I pointed out he had been with 4 different women and kids, and called all of them darling, which got him very flustered with talking to the waitress, and he ended up saying ‘its alright, I am not a bigamist, they are all my children..’ she looked even more amused and scuttled off, and I had to point out she must have thought he meant all of the kids were his, so he had made it worse!!

Lucie Aiston 09 Jun 2010 at 12:00 pm

Rocking out to the Rolling Stones at family parties with his proper embarrassing “Dad Dancing”

Julie Kenny 09 Jun 2010 at 12:02 pm

We have three children and its hard work sometimes. I hadn’t had a break in ages and my OH told me what a great dad he was and how I needed a break and that he would look after the kids. The kids were really pleased that dad was in charge so I left them in daddy “capable” hands. I return a hour later with some friends …the smoke alarm was going off, the house was filled with smoke and the oven was on with something very black burning in it. I could here the shower going upstairs. Downstairs was empty – but the dining room table had a half eaten meal on it …and there in the middle on the table was a fork ….with a poo on it! I nearly died of embarrassment!

Apparently, they had all been eating their meal when the youngest had put a fork down his nappy and flicked poo at them all!!! I found all four of them in the shower together getting clean! He still thinks hes a great dad …and if I`m honest he is …I would love to win this prize for him – the kids would be made-up to give him something so special. Thanks for the chance to win Xx

Rhoda 09 Jun 2010 at 12:09 pm

Oh dear I have so many!! One of the most embarrassing was when we were in a carvery restaurant. We were all queuing up to get our dinner, Dad asks the assistant for some turkey and replies “good man, thanks” – unfortunately it was BLATANTLY a woman!!!!! I just wanted the ground to swallow me up! Not content with that he then went on to argue with us for a good 10 minutes about how it was clearly a man. Ah well, we still love him!!

paul hunter 09 Jun 2010 at 12:44 pm

I got into a lift with my Dad when I was a teenager.
There was also a pretty girl in there with her mum.
I asked “which floor” and my Dad chipped in “take her to the moon son”.
I nearly cried….

Chelsea 09 Jun 2010 at 1:14 pm

In reference to Lady Gaga – “She’s an amazing piano player – i just don’t understand why she ruins it by dressing like a doily’.

Alison 09 Jun 2010 at 1:44 pm

One year we had a wasps nest in the hedge in our backgarden. My dad decided it would be a good idea to smoke it out. The next thing we know the hedge has burst into flame and they are rapidly moving up the next door neighbours large leylandi trees. We had to call out the fire brigade, much to his embarrassment. Needless to say now any time he offers to smoke out wasps we don’t let him!

Ellie L. 09 Jun 2010 at 5:39 pm

It was a noisy, heady teenage disco. The smoke machine created a moody, hazy atmosphere while 80’s pop belted out. All us girls looked like a cross between Madonna and the cool one from Bananarama (Siobhan!), while the boys all reeked of Old Spice. I was a typical 14 year old girl (easily embarrassed, impressionable, pouty!) but above all, on the night in question, I was late!!! My dad had warned me he’d collect me at 11pm sharp but by it was now a daring 11.35pm. So, what had caused such wanton, reckless behaviour you might ask? Why, a boy, of course!! The boy in question and I had become ‘accquainted’ earlier in the night. I’d bagged the best looking one there and all my friends looked on, enviously. I’d lost all sense of time and was in no hurry to leave. We were right in the middle of a smoochy number when a startling, bright beam of light interrupted George Michael’s warbling on Careless Whisper. It shone through the darkness and right across the dance floor. My eyes were drawn to this amazing display of pyrotechnics but my awe was to be short-lived as I realised to my horror that it was…………my Dad!!! Dressed in grey pyjama bottoms, an old tatty brown cardie and (worst of all!) slippers. He’d walked right in carrying a ruddy great flashlight!! Unfortunately for me, it was one of those safety types (with a torch, indicator light and an ultra bright beam). He had all of them going off at once! Eventually, one of the many rays of light singled me (and ‘the boy’!) out and dad hollered at the top of his voice, “C’MON JENNY,….TIME TO GO!” It was the single, most humiliating moment of my teenage life. My friends often referred to that night as ‘the night the spotlight was turned on Jen’! It took me years to live that one down!

AnnMarie Baxter 09 Jun 2010 at 6:32 pm

a few years ago i took my dad to a local car auction.it was very busy and there was no-where to sit .whilst he stood in the auction room i wandered around outside to look at other cars.eventually a seat became available and my dad started waving furiously at me to gain my attention.unfortunatley the auctioneer thought he was bidding on a car and he ended up buying a clapped out escort ,which stood in the drive for about 6 months before we had to send it to the scrap yard .bless him.

Emma 09 Jun 2010 at 8:53 pm

Since I can remember, whenever my dad meets someone he has never met, he shakes their hand and says ‘Excuse the wart!’. The person on the receiving end displays either embarrassment or a look of slight horror whilst my dad finds it hilarious every time.
I wonder if this kind of joke used to be funny in the old days but in any event, as a family, we have learned to live with it!

Georgia 09 Jun 2010 at 9:21 pm

My dad was sitting at his computer concentrating and had a small arrow with a sucker on the end. While he was concentrating he kept pressing the sucker on to his forehead. What he didn’t realise was when he had finished he had a big, red round mark on his forehead. My mum suggested to go out as she knew he had a very visible mark on his head. As we walked past people they all kept looking at my dad and laughing. My dad was wondering what everyone was staring at. When we got home he saw it in the mirror and laughed. Oh thats why they were staring at me! He laughed

kay wilkinson 09 Jun 2010 at 11:05 pm

One of my Dad’s ‘Dadisms’ is his ‘I saw an alien spaceship once’ speech. He genuinely claims to have seen one, and has a very convincing story to back it up. The problem is, he usually recites the story when he’s had a sherry or two too many, which ruins his credibility, and makes him sound like he’s mental – poor love. He isn’t mental at all, and wasn’t on medication at the time, hadn’t been drinking and isn’t prone to telling wierd stories as a rule.

I do love my dad, but when we have family get togethers and he starts talking about his alien episode – I just want to crawl under the table and join the family dog under there, whilst wishing for sudden alien abduction, so I don’t have to listen to the tale yet again.

He carried a camera in the car for years just in case. One day he’ll see it again and take a photo, that’ll show us!

Ellsa 11 Jun 2010 at 9:18 am

I love him dearly but my dad’s a walking embarrassment sometimes. I think the most cringeworthy thing I remember him doing was while we were all on holiday in France. We were on a busy metro train and were fortunate enough to have seats but it was becoming increasingly more crowded and there weren’t enough seats for everyone. An attractive young woman entered our carriage so my dad, master of chivalry and good etiquette, motioned to offer her his seat. Lacking any credible knowledge of the French language, he opted instead for ‘sign language’. Which in this case, meant gesturing repeatedly at his crotch area for about thirty seconds to indicate the seat. Despite our requests to leave it, he couldn’t see the problem with gesturing between his legs at a younger woman. Needless to say, she gave him a look of horror before exiting the carriage.

Rose 12 Jun 2010 at 4:55 pm

My dad is the best .. I came out of hospital only today but felt I needed to tell you my funny story. Yesterday I was laying on the hospital bed waiting for my mum and dad to visit me.. I have just had a thyroid operation.. my parents nervously appeared at the door looking for me and with a big beam on my dads face he said “hi love, I have bought you some lockets! well I know I’ve had a throat operation but I dont think they were quite the thing I needed! Bless him .. it was thoughtful and gave the ward a giggle at the same time.

Susan Tompkins 12 Jun 2010 at 11:45 pm

When I was in my thirties, I was on holiday with my parents and we were on the beach. I saw my Dad staring intently at the floor by my feet, after a couple of minutes he said thoughtfully “It’s amazing – you still have the same feet you had when you were a little girl!”
He then wondered why we all fell about laughing. He meant, of course, that my feet were still the same shape they had been when I was little!

ANDREA CAIZLEY 14 Jun 2010 at 9:25 am

this is about my husband,when he`s dong anything with our son , for instance they play footy in the garden and he scores a goal against my son ( whos only seven by the way ), he runs around shouting WHO`S THE DADDY, and when he`s lifting weights, if he thinks he looks pumped up ( more like pumed out), he come`s down stairs, poses in the mirror above the fire and says whos the daddy, whos the daddy,- its even rubbed off on our son, recently on holiday we were playing in the pool and my son scored a goal at water polo, when out of the blue – whos the daddy just came out of his mouth, me and my hubby just looked at each other and burst out laughing. its rubbed off onto him, i just hope it doesnt rub off on our daughter, then we will gey some funny looks.

EMMA WALTERS 14 Jun 2010 at 10:31 am

when i was growing up |& had friends round or if he came to school – he would always wear the worst hawaiian shirt ever!! i’m sure he did it on purpose!! & one sports day he even had a t-shirt made which said ‘ emma – no1 daughter – win win win’! HOW EMBARRASSING!! just about forgiven him now hehe xx

Gemma Rey 14 Jun 2010 at 12:02 pm

My dad’s a great laugh, a bit of a character some might say and always the life and soul of any party…………just as long as he’s not paying for it, that is!!!! To put it simply, he’s a bit cautious with his cash. I first became aware of this one day at the tender age of eight. It was my first holy communion day and my dad, a non-catholic, who rarely set foot inside a religious institution of any description, was there too. He wasn’t entirely familiar with the procedures that take place during a mass but got by copying those around him. So far so good! As normal, halfway through the mass, the collection basket was passed around. My dad had no idea what it was or what it was for but he saw others dropping in money and figured he had to do the same. As it started to come towards him, he fumbled around awkwardly in his pocket, took out some money and dropped in a £5 note. Now, it was the late 80’s and this was a healthy donation, even by today’s standards. The elderly lady sitting next to him nodded aprovingly, lent over and in a hushed voice, whispered something about it being a ‘very generous donation’. I was sat beside my dad and even as an 8 year old, I could see the panic, spreading like a rash, over his face. ‘Did I give too much?’ he mouthed over to my mum, sitting on the other side of me. She gave him a sharp look and tried to shush him but as Dad saw it, he’d overspent and there was nothing (literally,…NOTHING!!) he hated more than being short changed. He lent over, tapped the shoulder of the man in front and asked him to pass the collection basket back. He told him he’d missed it the first time it went round. He’d nothing smaller than a fiver so while the priest preached and the faithful prayed, dad pestered those around him for change of a five pound note?????!! Then he reached in, fished out the fiver and stuck a pound in instead! (I kid you not!)

Nicky Russell 14 Jun 2010 at 1:11 pm

My Dad had no sense of direction. Every journey over a mile, results in him getting lost. I bought him a Sat Nav last year but he wont use it, because the lady’s voice in “annoying” !!!

Jo Bryan 14 Jun 2010 at 3:29 pm

Worst Dadism and repeated so often as you do rely on Dad for advice or opinion.

He will give it followed by pointing to head and in a strong Worzel type accent “See up here for thinking”! then pointing down “Down here for dancing!” and do a truly dreadful dad dance just to humiliate us . This happens in public so many times we are scared to go out. Groan

frank 14 Jun 2010 at 11:43 pm

my father is 78 and just retired.We got him a computer for his birthday as he had never had one.He phoned me and told me’everytime i put my foot on the lever it won’t start’.I tried to figure out what he meant.When i went round to ask him to demonstrate what he did.He had his foot on the mouse[lever] trying to start it.

bryan 15 Jun 2010 at 11:12 am

my dad isn’t like a normal dad he:

never forgetas a birthday, anniversary or even a dental appointment !

he is loving, careing, tender and helpful

he is always there when you need him most

he loves me and my family and that’s all that matters he is the most and best dad i could ask for

i want to make this fathers day special and i think interflora can make this year the most special !!!!

I <3 MY DAD

Jenny Owens 15 Jun 2010 at 11:15 am

My Dad has many things, for example he has to be the one to load the dishwasher. If anyone else loads it he has to take everything out and load it again!
He also loves food shopping, he can leave the house at 9am and get back 1pm having been to the market, two supermarkets and a few other shops along the way!
He also thoroughly enjoys telling the waiters and waitresses in restaurants when I’m hungover, and then explaning that’s why I’m not drinking.
He’s Australian and he loves doing stuff like if England and Australia are against each other and someone asks him who he wants to win he always says ‘It doesn’t matter who wins, I have one passport in each pocket, I can just take out the right one!’
But he’s the loveliest person you’ll ever meet, we’re forever laughing together and he’s more than happy to pick up and drop me and my friends off places. And also being an Aussie, he does a mean BBQ!

Jenny Owens 15 Jun 2010 at 11:17 am

ps. he always falls asleep at the dinner table at Christmas with his paper hat askew! In fact, he’ll fall asleep almost anywhere (even standing up).

Kate Howitt 15 Jun 2010 at 4:53 pm

My dad is a brilliant multi-tasker. He has an uncanny ability to scoff his dinner, balance a hot plate on his knee, follow the salient points of a conversation, watch the world cup AND read the newspaper – all at the same time!!!

Em 15 Jun 2010 at 11:06 pm

My Dad has quite a few ‘Dadisms’,
and we’re never quite sure if he’s doing them on purpose or not.lol

There’s the classic “Don’t look at me in the tone of voice”

Saying “two milks and sugar please” when asked how he takes his coffee.

To an old family friend at a wedding he said ” I recognise your name but I just can’t picture your face”

The three of us (I have an older brother and younger sister) are used to it, but our partners families and friends often remark on it,
we all just smile and say ‘that’s just Dad”

AIDAN BRANCH 16 Jun 2010 at 2:47 pm

my dad is a ‘grand dad’ as he really is my grandad & has brought me up since i was a baby, he always put me first.
he is a taxi driver in past two yrs
but has always been my taxi service, never complaining, he does slurp his soup & tea annoyingly though
but i love him to bits & he really deserves a bit of credit back now esp on fathers day & esp from an elite company like Interflora x

Bryony Ledger 16 Jun 2010 at 4:50 pm

Bless my poor Dad – over the past 24 years of my life my Father has come out some helarious sayings!!!!! He compltly amuses the whole family with his little ways and as he gets older he is more like my dear old gran!!

My dad has a running commentry to himself because no one listens to him (poor Dad) and has now taken up the art of humming constantly throughout his daily life!!! I love the old man but he just makes me cringe when he says ” right said Fred” just as he starts a task!!( in a very posh accent)

But saying all of that he wouldn’t be Dad without those little quirks!!!!

Kate 16 Jun 2010 at 4:53 pm

Thank you everyone for all your entries. We are currently deciding the winner and results will be announced tomorrow morning!

Em 17 Jun 2010 at 9:19 pm

Congrats to the winners
🙂

Tracy Brown 17 Jun 2010 at 10:57 pm

My Dad is the funniest person I know.You can not be miserable when he is around. He says things like, ‘Hurry up and take your time.’ ‘ You wasn’t long, what kept you?’ ‘Don’t be there before you’re back’ ‘It wasn’t me, I did it’… He is hilarious.
He loves to embarrass you on the bus. He’ll say ‘Hello Missus, how’s it going?’ to any random woman or he’ll give a running commentary on what people are doing!
He can not sit still either. He has the ‘wander lust’ as we call it. He’s always here there and everywhere!
You won’t find a better Dad than mine. He would give you his last penny. Money means nothing to him, so long as he has a cup of tea and his bread & jam, he’s a happy man. He would go to the end of the earth for you. He doesn’t have a selfish bone in him.
He is Irish… and like the song says…
‘When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, sure ’tis like a morn in spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter you can hear the angels sing,
When Irish hearts are happy all the world seems bright and gay,
And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, sure, they steal your heart away.’
That is my Dad…and I love him to bits xxx ‘Happy Fathers Day, Dad!

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